From Heartache to Holiday: Finding Joy and Eternity in Sukkot

Good morning, everyone. I've just arrived in New York, and though it's incredibly challenging, I feel compelled to send a message of Simcha (joy). The past two weeks have been difficult, and I haven't been able to share words of inspiration. My dear husband, Ben Yitzchak, for whom so many prayers were offered, was taken closer to the Ribono Shel Olam on Shabbos Shuva.

A Tzadik in Heaven: The Legacy of My Husband

We entered Yom Kippur with the knowledge that a Tzadik (righteous person) now sits near the Kisei HaKavod (Divine Throne), davening for us. As we say on Yom Kippur, "Or zarua la'Tzadik u'Liyishrei lev simcha" – "Light is sown for the righteous, and for the upright of heart, joy."

After my dear husband's passing, there was such an "or zarua" – a shining light. His face radiated, a rare vision after the enormous suffering he endured for months, both physically and mentally. This light made me understand that the Ribono Shel Olam desired a pure neshama (soul) close to Him. He passed with an "uliyishrei lev," his heart completely purified.

I haven't had the chance to speak about him until now. He was an incredibly considerate person, always putting others first. He didn't want to cause any trouble, even after his passing. He was a great Talmid Chacham (Torah scholar). Having lived with him for 56 years, I witnessed his unwavering aspirations. His drive wasn't just in his learning; as we say, "Lo HaLimud Ikkar Ela HaMaaseh" – "The learning is not the main thing, but the doing."

When he came to Antwerp, his goal was to instill a love and ambition for Torah in everyone he met. He was a doer for chinuch (education) and for the community. I was always amazed how a young man from Jerusalem, who had never traveled abroad and didn't speak the local language, came to chutz la'aretz (outside of Israel) and knew exactly what needed to be done. He assumed tremendous responsibility, organizing things in such a way that after him, four or five people were needed to continue what he had done alone. He was always ready to help, always with a smile, always positive, always optimistic. He saw the good in others, and that is his legacy we must continue.

Sukkot: The Festival of Divine Love and Joy

Now, as it's Erev Sukkot, the holiday of Simcha, let's reflect on some thoughts.

We daven: "Ata bacharta banu mikol ha'amim, ahava lanu v'ratzita banu, v'romamtanu mikol ha'leshonot, v'kidashtanu b'mitzvotcha..." – "You chose us from all the nations, You loved us and desired us, You elevated us above all tongues, and You sanctified us with Your commandments..."

Chazal explain this progression:

• Ata Bacharta Banu (You chose us): This was at Pesach, when Hashem took us out of Mitzrayim.

• Ahava Lanu (You showed us Your love): This was at Har Sinai, when Hashem gave us the Torah.

• V'ratzita Banu (You desired us): This is Sukkot.

Why Sukkot? Because after Yom Kippur, where we spent 40 days seeking forgiveness, Hashem says, "Slicha, I forgive you." Then, Hashem tells us, "Now, leave your permanent homes (dirat keva) and sit in a temporary dwelling (dirat arai)." In the Sukkah, with its schach (roofing) open to the sky, you don't need strong walls or a solid roof. You only need closeness to Hashem, to feel "ratzui," how much you are desired and loved by the Ribono Shel Olam.

Sukkot is the moment of pure joy because we feel how much Hashem loves and wants us.

The Lessons of the Sukkah: Impermanence and Inner Wealth

On Sukkot, we welcome Ushpizin – seven righteous guests: Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Yosef, Moshe, Aharon, and David. What made these Tzadikim so special? Each demonstrated tremendous mesiras nefesh (self-sacrifice) and devotion to Hashem through their challenges and trials.

Yaakov Avinu, for instance, is connected to the word Sukkot, as it is written, "U'le'Mikneihu Asah Sukkot" – "And for his livestock, he made Sukkot (booths)." My father, zechrono livracha, used to explain that when Yaakov arrived in Shechem and acquired his first piece of land in Eretz Yisrael, he made temporary dwellings for his possessions.

• Yaakov Avinu teaches us: Whatever we possess, no matter how wealthy we are, is temporary. Money and possessions can disappear overnight. Stability in life does not come from material wealth. By placing his possessions in a sukkah, Yaakov reminded us that our true security lies not in what we own, but in our connection to Hashem.

The Arba Minim: Embracing All That Hashem Gives

On Sukkot, we also take the Arba Minim (four species):

• Etrog: Has taste and smell (representing those with Torah and good deeds).

• Lulav (dates): Has taste but no smell (representing those with Torah but lacking good deeds).

• Hadasim (myrtle): Has smell but no taste (representing those with good deeds but lacking Torah).

• Aravot (willow): Has neither taste nor smell (representing those lacking both).

Life presents us with various opportunities and people. Not everything is perfect; sometimes, we face challenges, or our relationships are not what we wish them to be. But the message of the Arba Minim is "v'samachta lifnei Hashem Elokecha" – "and you shall rejoice before Hashem, your God." This is the Chag HaSimcha, the holiday of joy, because we rejoice with what Hashem has given us.

It's natural to wonder how to rejoice amidst suffering. But HaKadosh Baruch Hu asks us to rejoice and appreciate what we have been given. Perhaps we desire an Etrog but have been given an Araval. The message is to take everything together, to embrace all that Hashem provides, and to rejoice because we are connected to Him.

The Eternity of Mitzvot: Investing in What Lasts

The Etrog is the most special of the Arba Minim. My husband was extremely meticulous about finding the most beautiful Etrog. He invested so much love and mesiras nefesh into this mitzvah.

One might ask: why invest so much money and energy into something temporary? After Sukkot, the Etrog is gone – its peels used for liquor, its flesh for jam. Similarly, when King Solomon built the Beis HaMikdash (Holy Temple), he knew it would eventually be destroyed. Was it worth such immense effort?

The answer lies in the concept of eternity. As we say in Hallel, "HaShamayim Shamayim la'Hashem, v'ha'aretz natan livnei Adam" – "The heavens belong to Hashem, but the earth He has given to the children of man." Hashem gives us the earth and its fruits. At the moment you make a Bracha (blessing) over the Etrog, you are no longer holding a mere fruit; you are holding an eternal mitzvah.

The effort, the love, and the joy you invest in a mitzvah become something eternal. They ascend to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and are kept close to Him in Heaven. This is the essence of Sukkot: leaving our temporary worldly possessions, sitting under the schach where we can see the stars, and feeling our connection to Hashem. This connection brings true joy and eternity to our lives.

The Warmth of the Heart: A Chassidic Tale

I heard a beautiful story this week about a Chassid who arrived in a village close to Shabbat and sought hospitality from the Trisk Rebbe. The Chassid, carrying a large sum of money for a fair, asked to leave it with the Rebbetzin for Shabbat. She agreed.

During Kabbalat Shabbat, the Rebbe was shouting his prayers, as was the Chassidic custom. The visitor, however, was bothered by this. After the meal, he asked the Rebbetzin why her husband screamed so much. She simply replied, "He loves Hashem." The Chassid, confused, responded that he too loved Hashem, but prayed quietly. This continued through Shabbat.

At Motzei Shabbat, as the Chassid prepared to leave, he asked for his money back. The Rebbetzin feigned ignorance, saying she didn't know anything about it. The Chassid, in distress, began to scream, louder and louder, "My money! It's all I possess! I need my money!"

Finally, the Rebbetzin calmed him and returned his purse. She then asked, "Why did you scream for your money, but not for Hashem? When you truly care about something, when it burns within you, you scream. When you are sad, you cry. These are expressions of deep emotion."

She then shared an analogy from her husband: "When a heart is warm, full of emunah, love for Hashem, and Simcha, no negative influence can penetrate it. But when you become cold, when you don't show emotion, when you don't feel 'ratzita banu' – how much HaKadosh Baruch Hu loves us – then negative influences can easily distance us from the Ribono Shel Olam."

Sukkot is a time to enter the Sukkah with tremendous love and devotion, building it with mesiras nefesh, buying the Arba Minim with dedication. We do mitzvot knowing they will stay with us for eternity. When we feel "ratzita banu" and enter the Sukkah with true joy – the pure joy of a purified heart – this Simcha will accompany us throughout the entire year.

May we all enter the Sukkah with tremendous Simcha, meriting this great mitzvah after Yom Kippur. May the joy of Yom Kippur remain with us, bringing refuot (healings) and yeshuot (salvations) for all those in need.

Have a wonderful Yom Tov wherever you are, and from New York, I'm sending you all my love and a good Shabbos, a good Yom Tov, and a good Kvitl.