Parshat Chayei Sarah: Emunah, Shidduchim, and the Power of Prayer

This message is dedicated in honor of my dear mother on her birthday. May she continue to experience bracha, health, simcha, and nachat from all her children and grandchildren. As Parshat Chayei Sarah opens, we are reminded of the full and complete life of our matriarch, Sarah. The Torah tells us: "Vayiyu chayei Sarah"—"And the life of Sarah was..." Our sages point out that the word "vayiyu" is palindromic, read the same both forwards and backwards, symbolizing that a complete life includes both joyful and challenging moments—all part of Hashem’s master plan.

The Full Picture of a Life of Faith

Sarah Imeinu lived a life filled with tests, pain, miracles, and joy. Yet her life is described as “complete” because she maintained unwavering emunah throughout. Whether during hardships or times of celebration, Sarah’s trust in Hashem remained steadfast. Her life teaches us that one cannot pick and choose moments to define success or blessing. Every experience is integral to the soul’s journey.

Yitzchak and the Power of Mincha

Following Sarah's passing, the Torah introduces Yitzchak as he prepares to meet Rivka. Yitzchak’s greatness is revealed in a quiet yet powerful act: he goes to pray Mincha—at a time of day filled with uncertainty, as light fades and night approaches. The time between clarity and obscurity. This, say Chazal, represents moments of transition in life—times when we face the unknown. In these moments, like Yitzchak, we must turn to Hashem in tefillah.

Eliezer: A Model of Sincere Shidduch Efforts

Eliezer, Avraham’s loyal servant, is tasked with finding a wife for Yitzchak. Despite having every reason to be confident—Yitzchak had yichus, wealth, and virtue—Eliezer places no reliance on worldly advantages. Instead, he prays: “Hashem, do chesed with my master Avraham.” He asks Hashem with deep sincerity, not assuming that status or merit alone will bring success.

The Torah repeats the entire story of Eliezer twice in detail. Why? Because the sincerity, humility, and emunah of Eliezer are so pure that his words are more beloved to Hashem than complex halachot. “Yafeh sichatan shel avdei avot”—the simple words of our ancestors’ servants are more precious than the Torah of the descendants.

Truth in Shidduchim: A Timeless Principle

Eliezer’s integrity stands in contrast to the temptation to manipulate information for the sake of matchmaking success. A story shared by Rav Grossman of Migdal HaEmek reinforces this. A shadchan wanted to present a girl by mixing up her family background to satisfy superficial expectations. Rav Grossman sought clarity through tefillah, and found a page from the biography of the Ponovezher Rav—discussing Eliezer and Parshat Chayei Sarah.

The Ponovezher Rav taught: Eliezer's success in securing Rivka was because he never deviated from the truth. He repeated the story exactly, word for word, with full transparency. This emes led to a blessed outcome. Rav Grossman followed this example, advised the shadchan to tell the full truth—and the shidduch succeeded anyway.

Why Eliezer Succeeded Where Yaakov Faced Delay

One might wonder: why did Eliezer’s mission succeed so quickly, while Yaakov Avinu faced years of struggle before marrying Rachel? The answer lies in the depth of their tefillot. Yaakov, while righteous, had a clear understanding of who he would marry and left with resources. He davened—but not with the same raw intensity as Eliezer, who had no backup plan and placed all trust in Hashem.

This teaches us a powerful lesson: Tefillah with full reliance on Hashem can open doors that seem closed. No amount of planning or merit replaces the power of heartfelt prayer.

Emunah, Tefillah, and Authenticity

Parshat Chayei Sarah weaves together powerful themes: the faith of Sarah through life’s highs and lows, the sincere prayer of Yitzchak in uncertain times, and Eliezer’s honest dedication to fulfilling his mission through prayer and integrity. In a world that often prizes image over truth, this parsha reminds us that true success comes from living with emunah, speaking with Hashem, and never compromising on honesty.

May we all be zocheh to approach our own transitions and challenges with the same depth of tefillah, clarity of purpose, and unwavering emunah.

Audio 2019