Parashat Vayishlach: Finding Strength and Purpose in Challenging Times (2019)

Good morning, everyone! We are back with our weekly food for thought. As we are in Kislev, I'm reminded of a special minhag (custom) to recite Chapter 100 of Tehillim, Mizmor L'Todah (A Psalm of Thanksgiving), every day. Kislev is a prelude to many miracles, and this chapter is a profound expression of gratitude and acknowledgment to Hashem for everything that comes our way. May this practice bring yeshuot (salvations) and refuot (healings) to all who need them.

This week's Parashat Vayishlach, which details the meeting and confrontation between Yaakov and Esav, is often called "Parashat HaGalut" – the Parasha of Exile. It's customary for those who must meet with authorities or government officials to read the first part of Parashat Vayishlach, learning from Yaakov's meticulous preparations for confronting his brother. Whether in Eretz Yisrael or abroad, the dangers of opposition and those who wish us harm persist. Yaakov teaches us never to despair, never to give up.

Yaakov's Strategy: Gifts, Prayer, and Preparation

Yaakov's actions provide a timeless guide for facing adversity:

• Doron (Gifts): He sent gifts to appease Esav.

• Tefillah (Prayer): This was his primary strategy. He cried out to Hashem.

• Milchamah (Preparation for War): He divided his camp, preparing to defend his family, understanding the need for self-defense.

He taught us a fundamental message: while efforts are essential, the main ingredient for success is Tefillah – heartfelt prayer. We can be active, running to doctors, working hard in business, or seeking therapists, but our ultimate help comes from pouring out our hearts to Hashem.

This reminds me of a story: A man entered the Bobov Rebbe's synagogue in Boro Park holding a smartphone. He was told no smartphones were allowed; he had to turn it off or leave. Though hard, as he was used to getting business messages, he silenced his phone. During davening (prayer), his phone vibrated incessantly with urgent business calls for a $30 million deal. He struggled with anxiety, but honored his commitment to pray undisturbed. After an hour and a half of dedicated prayer, he rushed outside. The messages revealed that because he didn't answer, they avoided a disastrous deal! This teaches us that during Tefillah, when we focus on connecting with Hashem, even perceived "losses" can turn into blessings and salvations.

The Value of Every Possession: Yaakov and the "Small Objects"

As a prelude to his confrontation, Yaakov reaches the River Yabok at night. After ensuring his entire family crosses, he realizes he left some small objects behind. He goes back, alone, in the dark, to retrieve them.

• The Midrash: Chazal (our Sages) tell us these were tanim (small bottles), seemingly valueless items.

• Tzaddikim's Diligence: This teaches that Tzaddikim (righteous individuals) do not discard anything given to them by Hashem, no matter how small. They strive to retrieve and save every single thing.

• Beyond the Material: However, the deeper lesson revolves around the setting: "VaYivater Yaakov Levado" (and Yaakov remained alone) in the darkness of Laila (night).

"VaYivater Yaakov Levado": Hanukkah and Standing Alone

• An Allusion to Exile: Chazal tell us this "darkness" is an allusion to the exiles, specifically the profound spiritual darkness of Hanukkah.

• Greek "Enlightenment": The Greek civilization, with its philosophy, literature, sports, and architecture, was presented as enlightenment. Yet, Chazal described it as "Choshech" – the greatest darkness – "choshech al pnei tehom" (darkness over the surface of the deep).

• Resisting Assimilation: The Greeks sought to assimilate the Jewish nation by attacking the very pillars of Jewish life:

  • Rosh Chodesh: Attacking the value of time and its holiness.

  • Brit Milah: Denying the holiness of the body.

  • Shabbat: Undermining the recognition of Hashem as the center of our lives.

• The Strength to Stand Alone: In such tempting and challenging times, Yaakov teaches us: "VaYivater Yaakov Levado" – we must have the strength to stand alone, to reject what the world perceives as "light" but for us is the greatest source of darkness.

The Struggle and the Wound: Perseverance and Healing

• The Unseen Foe: Yaakov then struggles with an unknown assailant (ish - stranger). The ground is dusty, obscuring his vision, making it difficult to fully grasp the extent of the danger or the identity of his attacker. This symbolizes our struggles where our vision is blurred, and we don't always understand who exactly is attacking us. "VaYavek ish imo" – keep struggling and fighting!

• The Wound at the Hip: The angel of Esav, unable to overcome Yaakov, strikes him at the yerech (hip). Chazal explain this as an allusion to future generations of Yaakov's descendants who might stumble or succumb, but there will always be those who continue the struggle.

• The Sun's Healing: Then, "VaYizrach Lo HaShemesh" (the sun shone for him). The Midrash beautifully teaches that the sun rose earlier to heal Yaakov's wounded hip. This recalls a previous instance at Har Moriah, where the sun set early for Yaakov. Those lost hours of sunshine were "given back" to him now, 22 years later, when he needed the sun's healing energy. This teaches us that even when we don't understand events for years, Hashem has a definite plan, and blessings or "repayments" can come exactly when needed.

Sukkot: The Importance of Home over Possessions

After meeting Esav, Yaakov reaches the town of Sukkot. My father, Zichrono L'Vracha (of blessed memory), used to emphasize the pasuk (verse): "VaYiven Lo Bayit, u'L'Mikneihu Asah Sukkot" (He built a house for himself, and for his livestock he made booths).

• Prioritizing Family: He built a strong, permanent home for his children, protecting them from the outside world.

• Temporary Materialism: But for his material wealth, his belongings, he made only temporary sukkot. This teaches that the home and family are paramount, not material possessions.

Devorah's Legacy: The Power of Support

After leaving Shechem, we are told of the death of Devorah, Rivka's nanny, who raised her. My father, Zichrono L'Vracha, would say that Devorah was a crucial figure, standing by Rivka from childhood amidst wicked surroundings, encouraging and supporting her. She represented the vital need for someone to give us strength and guidance. Her mission ended when Rivka passed away, showing how dedicated her support was.

Rachel's Legacy: Choosing Hope Over Sorrow

Finally, we consider the birth of Binyamin, a moment of profound sadness and joy. Rachel, in her last moments, names him "Ben Oni" – son of my sorrow. But Yaakov Avinu, seeing the future, renames him "Binyamin" – son of my right hand.

• Perspective in Challenge: In dark, sad, and difficult times, we have a choice: dwell on the negative or, on the contrary, choose to believe that Hashem will continue to strengthen us. Yaakov chose hope and saw the future greatness of Binyamin's tribe. May it be so for each of us.

Stories of Unseen Blessings

I'd like to end with two stories heard this week that perfectly encapsulate these themes:

• Rabbi Yitzchak Zilber and the Agunah: Rabbi Zilber, a great Tzadik from Russia who moved to Eretz Yisrael, was approached by a young woman whose husband had abandoned her in Russia, refusing to give her a get (divorce document), leaving her an agunah. Despite having no address or information, Rabbi Zilber felt obligated to help. He traveled to Moscow, where he was immediately arrested for a visa issue and thrown into a prison cell. There, he miraculously found the very husband he was searching for, who had also been arrested for a petty crime! Rabbi Zilber convinced him to give the get. Two days later, he was deported back to Tel Aviv, get in hand. This is like finding a needle in a haystack – from the deepest challenge came the greatest salvation, reminding us that even in chaos, Hashem's plan unfolds.

• Rabbi Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld and the Bride: Rabbi Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld, the Chief Rabbi of Yerushalayim, once found a little girl crying outside school on the first day. Her very sick mother couldn't pick her up. The great Rabbi walked her home, comforted her, tidied her house, sent food, and blessed her, promising her mother a complete recovery and that she would walk her down to her chuppah (wedding canopy). The mother recovered. Years later, the eldest daughter, despite being offered many shidduchim (marriage proposals), refused them all, waiting for her younger siblings to marry first (believing the Rabbi's blessing meant her mother must be at her wedding). At 32, after all her siblings were married, she finally agreed to a shidduch. Her mother walked her down the chuppah as promised. The very next morning, the mother passed away. At the levaya (funeral), the daughter tearfully explained to her mother that her refusal to marry earlier was so her mother could be present for all her siblings' weddings. From the greatest darkness and challenge can sometimes come the greatest source of life and blessing.

May it be so for us. Have a wonderful, wonderful Shabbat! All my love from Antwerp.